If Only I Had Time

Just a Thought,

Again, I know this is random but I'm in another one of the moments in my life where I think: when did I start doing that in my mind! Let me explain. Have you ever SET ASIDE some time for God. I don't know like you decide to devote an hour of your day to God. Recently, I've noticed in my life that I set aside this time for him. I utilize this time very well, and I do it every day as planned. However, I began to realize that I might have followed it sometimes a little too strictly. Have you ever been praying, or in the mood of praying, and then look at your clock and go, "Man I've been praying for an hour now, I have stuff to do today and I need to rap this up!" I know I've done it before. But I noticed that I did it recently. To be honest I can't tell you why I did it, but I did.

So today I pondered this question and thought: When did I start to think that God follows a time frame that is created by me. If there is anything I've realized, is that God's timing is much better than mine. When I first got back into my faith, I used to pray until I felt God tell me to go about my life. I used to pray from anywhere from twenty minutes or for a few hours. In the long sessions it would most likely be because I couldn't figure out what my heart wanted me to pray for because my mind was in the way. that's' right it would take me an hour and a half focusing on my breathing and on God to get my mind clear and to say and pray for what my heart truly desired. Now, sometimes I'll have no idea what my heart wants and just pray the small prayers that the beauty pageant girls do, "God I want to pray for world peace and the betterment of the poor." don't get me wrong those prayers are needed to be said, but how did I get to this point where I would just set me intimate relationship with Christ aside, all cause I have other things to do in my life.

Tonight God really laid into me and said: I'm all about your journey with me, not about the outcome! and it's like more and more in my life when God gives me that glimpse of what's to come, I tell myself I can have it right now. This is a lie in and of itself. I mean I could get it, but I want to trust in God's timing cause its way more reliable than any plans I'll ever make. So as I write this is sit here and say to you, Father in heaven, I pray that you keep me patient and focused. For I want to revel in this journey, and be humbled by you daily, because I can wait for your outcome in my life. I can be your patient servant, Lord, because your plans have never ceased to amaze me!

In Wonder and Awe,
Bryan